There are things that test your Will, and Try your very endurance. I don't ask myself why anymore when something unpleasant, unexpected, and disruptive happens to me. I know not to ask "why me" even though a part of my brain does ask --why? Being weak to human curiosity cause me to ask, because over a period of time I have noticed a pattern of such things. Surely I am not alone in noticing such things. It's rational not too I know, and peaceful to not notice and it gives a sense of belonging to take side with individuals that only seem to encounter the now-and-then unexplained disruptions. They sum up the occasional run-ins with one phrase--"that's life". I would like to take the same position and say the same "that's life" but often I cannot. Especially when these unexplained things--often unpleasant and disruptive-- return in a cyclical pattern instinctively like seasons of the year. To have to admit that such a pattern takes place in your life, despite all positive efforts is difficult. And it is equally difficult to have to look back over the string of events, retracing each to the point of seeing that a reoccurring pattern was clearly evident. But who wants to admit such a thing. I know there are other innocent individuals whose lives seem to attract unwanted circumstances. Circumstances that serve no other purpose than to rob us of precious time, detain our immediate progress and halt any positive thinking which may have begun our day. I use to react to these events by serving back what had been dealt to me. I thought this was the way to react to vexing unexplained things which made me their target. It took many events such as these for me to see that a pattern was forming. These things had a time, an unknown reason, and a role that caused disorder in my very efforts to avoid disorder. And whenever this disorder occurred, it brought about a reaction in me. A reaction without guidance, a reaction which often caused me to be the loser. I was the loser because nothing was gained by me for throwing a stone, simply because a stone was thrown. But once in a while I have had to throw a stone in the form of a letter, a phone call, an email inquiring as to why, or if a mistake was made.

That was then, now I have grown wiser of my place in the universe, wiser in the art of resisting things disruptive to the calm within me, and with that resistance has come strength and the sight to see clearly.